Saturday, November 27, 2010
R.I.P gong gong!!!
born….
old……
death..
everyone will go through these 3 stages.. but can one really just go without any sickness in body?? can one just go peacefully with a smile on face?? can one just go happily??
though my grandfather had many many illness in body, 3 cancer cells if i not wrong, somemore having one advanced cancer, he managed to go away peacefully.. tat wat my aunt said.. and tat wat i am glad to hear.. he not died because of cancer. =’)
last week, 12.05pm, when i were working gary sms me.. please go down to hospital now.. urgent!! i cant and never go.. cos i thought he will pull through this time just like last time. so i asked gary to update me.. but 12pm+, he smsed me, grandfather passed away…. my emotional was from average to very very low.. he passed away!!!! i dun believe!!! ask gary to update me again.. and its the truth..
i was very very very sad.. cannot concentrate working.. keep thinking of those time spend together with him..
5 days of funeral at grandfather void deck.. pray sincerely to him when giving joss stick.. can only see his photo.. body was inside the coffin, covered wif lid and with cloth.. i cant see him!! i cant see his face anymore!! i cant touch him anymore!! when burning incense paper, i did not sit on chair.. i kneel down.. my last respect for him..
i remember the last time i saw him was when he was in hospital.. which was months back.. MONTHS BACK!!!!!!! regret didnt fork out the time to go visit him.. now i wan to see him, he gone, forever~~~ =’(((((
last day of funeral.. have the last ritual.. children and grandchildren was asked to sit inside, near to coffin while friends and relatives give their last respect. dunno is the music being played sad, or the atmosphere is very down.. i feel like crying.. worse still, saw my mother, my aunts and my cousins crying.. i tried to control my tears.. keep swallowing my saliva, but i still failed.. i shed tears.. i really miss him.. i really want to see him for the last time.. but i cant!!! he just inside the coffin in front of me!! but i cant get to see him!!!!
he was sent to hou hua at a temple.. have a ritual there before being push inside to burn.. how i hope i not there.. not there to witness the coffin being push in.. but i cant!! so i try to distract myself by looking at other place..
i really lucky to have him as my grandfather.. he always book restaurant to let our whole families to gather together, eat together and celebrate his and my grandmother birthday.. whenever he is happy or in good mood, he will book resturant and gather everyone together.. this is how great n noble my grandfather is. if i have the chance and fate, i hope that he will be my grandfather again in my next life. and i promised that i will spend more time with him.. i swear!!!!
R.I.P gong gong!!!
u will always in my heart
cos i love you!!! =’)
*i feel like crying when typing.. i miss him!!!
@ 5:11 PM
